


will you catch me if i shall fall?

by Anonymous



Series: the moon and the stars, they are nothing without you [9]
Category: Pentagon (Korea Band), SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alpha Jung Wooseok, Alpha Yoon Jeonghan, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Beta Kang Hyunggu | Kino, Beta Wen Jun Hui | Jun, Beta Xu Ming Hao | The8, Established Relationship, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Mpreg, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Marriage, Miscarriage, Omega Adachi Yuto, Omega Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups, Omega Kim Mingyu, Omega Lee Seokmin | DK, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-31
Updated: 2020-08-31
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:35:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26222752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: How many times could one suffer until the universe says enough is enough? Was it possible to take a step back from giving it all up when it felt as if you were so close to falling off the edge? It’s true that everybody goes through pain in their lives, but sometimes that pain became close to unbearable.
Relationships: Adachi Yuto/Jung Wooseok/Kang Hyunggu | Kino, Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Hong Jisoo | Joshua/Yoon Jeonghan, Jeon Wonwoo/Kim Mingyu, Lee Jihoon | Woozi/Lee Seokmin | DK, Wen Jun Hui | Jun/Xu Ming Hao | The8, mentioned
Series: the moon and the stars, they are nothing without you [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1862176
Kudos: 23
Collections: Anonymous





	will you catch me if i shall fall?

**Author's Note:**

> Okay if you've been reading the whole series up to now I swear there are no more miscarriages this is the last one. But at the same time, I want people to realise that miscarriages aren't taboo or as rare as the media and society portrays them to be. Anyways, onto the fic!

“Yuto, that’s not what I’m trying to say!”

Hyunggu stood with his back to the TV in the living room looking at Yuto with pleading eyes as the omega stood in the doorway. Wooseok was still sitting on the couch but was now focused on Yuto who had tears streaming down his cheeks as he looked at his two mates.

“Save it, Hyunggu! Don’t you think I know already that there is something wrong with me? I don’t need another appointment just for the doctor to say ‘Sorry for your loss’ and to advise me to ‘Take it easy’. It’s all I’ve heard for the past year, and I’m sick of it!”

“Yu, there is nothing wrong with you, we just-“

“Don’t even start Wooseok.” Yuto was no longer shouting, his voice taking on a defeated tone “every single time we have come back home after a miscarriage, I’ve seen the way you’ve looked at me, how you retreat into yourself. You’re always so disappointed. So fed up with me.”

“Yu, that is not true, I promise.” Wooseok got up pleading with his mate.

“Last time you promised me that everything would be okay. It doesn’t feel okay, does it?”

“Yuto-“

“I’m done. I give up.”

With those last words, Yuto went upstairs, leaving his mates in the living-room. Hyunggu came and sat down next to Wooseok on the couch, resting his head on the taller’s shoulders, lacing their hands together.

“I knew it was all taking a toll on him, but I didn’t realise it was this bad” Wooseok muttered, playing with a loose thread on his jeans.

“It’s hard for all of us, but we need to check on Yuto more. It’s hurting him both physically and mentally.”

“Yeah. I wish that we could-“

Wooseok’s words were cut off as they heard rapid footsteps down the stairs and the sound of the front door being flung open and shut. Startled, Hyunggu shot up out of his seat and ran to the front door to see what was happening. Their house was at the end of the street so Hyunggu looked up the road before going round the corner and looking there but couldn’t see Yuto. Walking back into the house, he saw Wooseok coming from upstairs with a worried look on his face.

“Yuto left his phone behind, and he only took his coat and shoes.”

“He’s already gone too far, he must’ve run down the street, but I don’t know which way he went.”

“Shit, he can’t be straining his body, the doctor already said he would be feeling weak.”

“We need to find him quick.”

•••

“Junhui!”

Junhui looked up at the sound of his name and smiled when he saw Yanan bear the end of the corridor. He stood there waiting for the other Chinese man to walk up to where he was.

“Is your shift over?” Yanan asked now that he had caught up.

“Yeah 12-hour shift. All I want to do is go home and sleep forever. What about you?”

“I still have about 3 hours left of my shift, and then I’ll be done. But it’s been relatively quiet.”

“That’s good, well good luck for the rest of your shift then.”

“Thanks, I’m on break right now or a while one of my friends asked if I could meet them out of nowhere, so I’m going the same way as you.”

“Cool, got anything exciting planned for the rest of the week?”

“Well actually-“

“Yanan!”

The two doctors turned their head at the yell and saw a frantic Hyunggu jogging towards them, his black hair was slightly ruffled and his movements distraught. Finally coming to a stop in front of them, Hyunggu grabbed Yanan’s shoulders and looked at the beta with deep fear in his eyes.

“Yanan, have you seen Yuto?”

“No, not since three days ago.”

“Have you talked to him? Called, texted anything?”

“I mean he called me yesterday but hung up pretty quickly. Why what’s wrong?”

“Shit, Yanan he’s gone. We had an argument sort of, and he left his phone in the house, and now Wooseok and I don’t know where he is. He’s not in a proper mindset I’m scared of what he might do-“

“Scared? Hyunggu what happened?”

“He miscarried again. This is the fourth time. He sounded so defeated, I have never seen him like that Yanan.” 

Tears began to fall from Hyunggu’s eyes, and he turned away gnawing in his lip, fear and worry painted clearly on his face. Junhui felt like an outsider looking in on a painful scene from a drama as Yanan comforted his friend, trying to reassure him and give his support. 

“Hyunggu, I wish I could help, but I’m nowhere near done with my shift, maybe after?”

“No it was silly of me to come to ask you for help, I just don’t know what else to do or who else to ask.”

“I’ll help you.”

Hyunggu and Yanan both turned to Junhui in shock.

“Junhui you just finished a twelve-hour shift-“

“It doesn’t matter,” he said with a gentle determination in his eyes “If my mate were missing, especially after something like that, I would want every person available to hurt.”

“I don’t want this to be a burden for you Junhui-ssi. I’ll be fine on my own-“

“No, you won’t. I’ve had enough patients to know that something like this takes a toll on everybody involved. Let me help you guys. Please.” 

Hyunggu wiped away his tears before he fell into a deep bow in front of Junhui, his shoulders trembling.

“Thank you so much, Junhui-ssi!”

“I told you, it’s not a problem. Now let’s go, any places you have in mind?”

“Yes, a couple. Bye Yanan-hyung”

Yanan waved goodbye to the two, watching as they both jogged out of the hospital. He sighed in relief that Hyunggu had someone to help him, but he couldn’t help the nervousness that stirred in his stomach, thinking about Yuto.

“God, please be okay, Yuto.”

•••

“Well looks like I’m staying with you guys a while longer” Minghao quipped. 

Seokmin and Mingyu turned to look at Minghao who had fallen some ways behind due to him stopping to check his phone. However, his face had changed into a frown as opposed to his previous small smile.

“Why what’s wrong?” Seokmin asked out of curiosity.

“I was gonna see Junhui quickly after his shift, but he says he’s looking for his friend’s friend’s husband.”

“That sounds complicated,” Mingyu said as they resumed walking.

“Yeah, he said his name is Yuto apparently he’s an omega.”

“Well, I hope he finds him, sounds serious” Seokmin linked arms with the two, a bounce in his step as he walked.

The three of them continued walking, talking about everything and anything that came to mind occasionally laughing and sharing jokes until they came to a stop outside of a small café.

“This is where Mingyu and I met for the first time.”

“No, it isn’t, we met at Jeonghan-hyung’s house.”

“That doesn’t count; we met here.”

“What! You can’t change it just like that!” Mingyu let out a laugh at Seokmin’s serious face.

“Yes, I can. And technically, we didn’t really meet properly at Jeonghan’s house because we only exchanged names. This is where we actually had a conversation.”

“So this is where you guys became friends then?” Minghao chipped in, wanting to end the joking dispute between them.

“Oh, I guess you could say that,” Seokmin said with a huge smile on his face.

“It was so awkward at first because I had no idea what to say” Mingyu reminisced “ I just kept staring out the window at the water while you drank like ten cups of tea or coffee or whatever.”

“In my defence, it was a difficult conversation to start! How would you...”

Minghao felt himself zoning out all of a sudden, his eyes trailing elsewhere as he looked around the area. It was the textbook definition of a quaint cafe, the place you imagined people going to for a date in mushy love stories. After analysing the café, he turned his gaze opposite the café at the river that Mingyu was talking about earlier. Perhaps if it were summer, there would be more people here as it looked like a popular spot, but since it was winter, almost nobody was there.

Out of boredom, he stared at the area looking at the dark green painted benches and the trees filled with orange-red leaves. However, when looking at the body of water there, he saw a man with black hair there, sitting on the water’s edge, the railing at his back. At first, Minghao thought his eyes were tricking him, but when he saw the man lean forward slightly, he grabbed the nearest person in shock as he felt his eyes widen.

“Look!”

Both Mingyu and Seokmin looked in the direction Minghao was pointing at and saw the man near the water. The two omegas shared a look before moving forward slightly towards there, speaking quietly to each other.

“Crap, what do we do? Do we just walk up to him or what?” Mingyu asked worriedly as they got closer.

“No!” Seokmin quietly exclaimed, “We go up to him, find out what’s wrong but most importantly, stop him from doing something he might regret.”

They had gotten close enough to the man at this point that they were able to hear his sniffles and cries from where they stood. Anxiously looking between them, they tried to decide who was going to speak, with Minghao taking the initiative as he was the one who noticed him in the first place. He walked forward, Mingyu and Seokmin were waiting a few feet behind him so that they wouldn’t overwhelm them.

“Excuse me?”

The man looked behind him and Minghao was finally able to see him. His face was stained with tears, his eyes widened at the sight of Minghao who he looked up and down in fear, but he didn’t move away which made Minghao feel relieved.

“I’m Minghao, what’s your name?”

He held his breath waiting for an answer from the other guy, scared that he was pushing him too far. At first, Minghao thought that he would refuse to give his name, but he had a look of contemplation on his face before finally looking up at him.

“Yuto.”

Minghao hoped that he didn’t see the expression of shock and disbelief that passed over his face for all of five seconds. He couldn’t possibly be the Yuto that Junhui was looking for, could he? It seemed highly plausible, but if he was then it would do no good to tell him what he knew in case it scared him away. Instead, Minghao walked slowly to the bench closest to the edge of the water and sat down on it.

“Are you trying to kill yourself?”

Yuto let out a tired sigh, tears threatening to fall from his eyes. From where he was, Minghao could tell that his clothes were already wet and he was slightly shivering.

“I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t even know how I got here.”

“Did you plan to kill yourself?”

“No,” Yuto shook his head leaning towards the water a bit, “It was just today, but the water down there is too shallow so I came here.”

“What happened to make you feel this way?”

“Do you usually ask this many questions?” Yuto scoffed, turning to look at Minghao again.

“No, not really,” Minghao smiled softly before continuing, “but things are awful for you right now and I want to listen.”

There were a few moments of silence where Yuto simply stared at Minghao as if he was trying to figure him out while Minghao waited for the omega to do or say something else. He wondered if Mingyu and Seokmin were still there, but he didn’t want to risk looking back and losing Yuto.

“Do you think there’s a limit to how many times things can go wrong?” Yuto asks, his voice close to a whisper.

“If there was a limit, I’m pretty sure somebody would have reached it by now.”

“I miscarried three times.” Yuto suddenly blurts out, sounding winded from that single sentence. Minghao could hear his breath hitching from where he sat.

“Is that the first time you’ve said it out loud?”

Looking at Minghao, Yuto nodded wearily, his hands grasping the railing tightly as if it was a lifeline.

“I can’t do it again. I want a child so bad, but I can’t do it anymore, I just want to give up.”

“Why are you giving up now though? Most people would have given up the first one or two times but you kept fighting. What has kept you fighting for so long?”

A small sad smile appeared on Yuto’s face at the question, the first one that Minghao had seen this whole time. It gave him hope that they were getting further away from his dark mindset and possibly getting closer to Yuto leaving the water’s edge.

“My mates. They’ve been by my side this whole time, but it’s just bad news after bad news and I don’t know if they even want to see my face anymore.”

“I would tell you about how much your mates love you and care for you, but I don’t know your mates as well as you do. Could you come and sit next to me so I can hear more about them?”

The omega lingered for a while, thinking deeply about what his next move would be. Deciding he had nothing to lose, Yuto thought that talking to this stranger about his husbands wouldn’t be anything too serious considering Minghao had seen him contemplating suicide just moments before.

“Could you help me up please Minghao?”

“Of course.” 

Minghao gave what he hoped was a comforting smile as he got up and offered a hand for Yuto so that he could climb over the railing and then led the younger to the bench that he was sitting on a few moments before.

“So Yuto, tell me about your mates,” Minghao carefully placed a hand on the omega’s arm in an attempt to ground him to which Yuto smiled and began talking in a soft voice.

He told Minghao about Wooseok and Hyunggu, how they all met in their first year of university, how the younger two always helped him with his Korean and helped him to improve, how he always found comfort in both of them. Minghao listened as Yuto talked about Hyunggu’s love for accessories and how he always chose bright colourful ones to reflect his bright personality, how Wooseok tended to look a bit intimidating at first but that was only his height and that the tall man was the sweetest person ever and was quite playful. In all honesty, it was endearing for Minghao to see how passionate Yuto was about his husbands and from the gradually growing smile on his face, Yuto had seen that he still had something to fight for in life. However, Yuto’s lovesick rant was cut off as he violently shuddered, reminding Minghao of what was happening beforehand.

“We should get you somewhere warm so you can recover for a while. Do you mind if you call my friends over?”

Yuto shook his head, his teeth chattering too much for him to try and speak. Worried, the beta lifted his head, looking for where Mingyu and Seokmin had disappeared to and saw them on a bench hidden away from where Minghao and Yuto were so one wouldn’t see them at first glance.

“Mingyu! Seokmin! Come quickly!”

At the sound of their friend’s call, the two omegas rushed over, glad that they could finally help after just standing by despite them being able to sense an extremely distressed omega so close to them. As soon as Seokmin saw Yuto sat on the bench shivering, he whipped off his coat and draped it over the younger omega’s shoulders in an attempt to relieve him a bit from the cold before looking up at Mingyu.

“I think Jeonghan-hyung’s place is closest to here, Mingyu, can you call him and ask if we can come over?”

“Okay!” Mingyu moved away already in the process of dialling Jeonghan’s number.

Minghao gave Seokmin a thankful smile that the omega was able to jump into action so quickly before turning back to Yuto and helping the youngest adjust the coat so that it would provide some more warmth.

“Yuto, we’re going to take you to our hyungs’ house so you can warm yourself up and then we are going to call both Wooseok and Hyunggu so that they can come and get you, okay?”

“O-okay, Minghao,” Yuto curled further into himself, the cold hitting him fully now that he was no longer in his suicidal state.

“Wait, Yuto? As in...” Seokmin trailed off, waiting for Minghao to answer.

“I’m not sure,” Minghao answered before turning back to Yuto, “Yuto-yah, you wouldn’t happen to know a Yanan would you?”

Yuto visibility perked up at the name, “You know Yanan?”

“Yeah, he works with my boyfriend. One of your mates went to the hospital looking for you.”

“Shit,” Yuto’s eyes filled with tears at the new information, “I’ve caused them so much trouble.”

“Hey,” Seokmin placed an arm around Yuto helping the omega to stand up so that they could make their way to Jeonghan’s house, “this is not your fault Yuto. Your mates were looking for you because they obviously love and care for you. Let’s focus on one thing at a time; first, we’ll get you warmed up and a change of clothes at Jeonghan’s and then we’ll contact your mates.”

Yuto nodded, his body suddenly getting weak as Minghao and Seokmin struggled to support his weight. Mingyu who just got off the phone with Jeonghan took Minghao’s place and supported Yuto from his left while Seokmin held up his right side. Both omegas let out comforting pheromones to placate the troubled youngest omega while Mingyu allowed Yuto to lean his head against his shoulder. Minghao waited for them to catch up so that the other two could lead the way to Jeonghan’s house.

•••

As soon as they reached Jeonghan’s place, both Jeonghana and Seungcheol had come out to help the younger three with Yuto. Seungcheol brought out towels to help dry off Yuto while Jeonghan offered to run him a lukewarm bath and also said that he would get clothes that would fit Yuto. The omega had no choice but to say yes and felt great gratitude for everything they were doing for him especially since the cold was becoming unbearable for him now. After he took the bath and changed into the clothes that Jeonghan set out, he walked back to the living room where Seungcheol had brought out an electric heater and some blankets to warm him up even more. Mingyu was in the kitchen making tea while Seokmin filled Jeonghan on everything that had happened as the four of them had rushed over to his house without much of an explanation.

“Hey,” Seungcheol called softly, getting Yuto’s attention, “You can stay here for as long as you need to okay? It’s no problem for us.”

“Thank you Seungcheol-ssi, but I should at least call my mates so they know I’m safe.”

“Don’t worry about that,” Minghao walked back into the room and went straight to where Seungcheol and Yuto were on the couch, “I called Junhui that we found you, so he’s probably told your mates by now. But I didn’t tell them exactly where you are since I didn’t know if you wanted to see them yet.”

“I do,” Yuto sighed shaking his head, “But I don’t think they want to see me.”

At that moment, Mingyu brought over the tea he was brewing and gave the first mug to Yuto and one to Minghao. Seungcheol declined and left the three to go check on Yookyung and Songhee. Mingyu sat next to Yuto facing where Minghao was perched on the coffee table.

“Why wouldn’t they want to see you?” Mingyu asked carefully, trying not to cross any boundaries.

“I tried to take my own life and I had a miscarriage. I’m basically useless at this point.”

“I can’t relate to that first bit, but I also had a miscarriage so I understand the pain you went through.”

“Wait, Mingyu-ssi I didn’t mean that you’re useless I just meant-”

“It’s fine Yuto,” Mingyu reassured putting a hand on the younger omega’s knee, “I felt the same way after my miscarriage. It truly is draining, but I know you will be able to get through it and come out stronger than ever.”

“I don’t feel that strong right now.”

“Yuto, today you were thinking about ending it all, but instead of going through with it, you decided to keep on fighting and that is something that takes strength and courage. I’m proud of you. We’re all proud of you.”

“Thanks, Mingyu-ssi.” Yuto sipped his tea while looking at the older with gratitude in his eyes. 

“Also, Yuto-yah,” Seokmin piped up from where he was standing behind the couch, “you’re not alone, I’m here to talk if you need to.”

“You too?” Yuto’s eyes widened looking between the two omega’s in surprise.

“It was a long time ago but yes. Despite what it seems like, miscarriage is not as rare as people think.”

The room fell back into silence, everyone either sipping their tea or doing something else. Seokmin was texting, most likely telling Jihoon that he would be home a bit later than he planned while Jeonghan sat at the dining table, going through some of his work but he was still close enough in case any of them needed something. In one of the other rooms, Seungcheol could be heard tending to their daughters, the young children kept away from everything that was happening as even though they were both probably too young to understand, Seungcheol and Jeonghan still didn’t want them exposed to such heavy topics at such a young age. Around fifteen minutes passed before the silence was broken in the room.

“I think I’m ready to see Hyunggu and Wooseok now,” Yuto said placing his now empty mug on the coffee table next to Minghao

“That’s great Yuto,” Minghao smiled getting his phone out of his trouser pocket, “Let me call Junhui, he should still be with them.”

•••

When Minghao had called Junhui, it took fifteen minutes for Wooseok and Hyunggu to reach Seungcheol and Jeonghan’s place despite them being around half an hour away. The reunion between the three mates was a teary one with Yuto breaking down into sobs as he apologised furiously for causing so much trouble despite Hyunggu reassuring him that he was no trouble and that they both loved the omega so much while Wooseok peppered his face with kisses and held him close to his side. The three husbands thanked Minghao, Seokmin and Mingyu for helping Yuto and also thanked Jeonghan and Seungcheol for helping him recover while Yuto said he might take Seokmin up on his offer later. Minghao watched as the trio got in their car and started their drive back home, Yuto promising that he would text them and tell them how he was getting on which made Minghao feel a bit better. After the triad left, the rest of the ‘97 liners left, Seokmin saying he would walk home since Jihoon was waiting for him, and Minghao leaving with Junhui in his car. Mingyu was staying at Jeonghan and Seungcheol’s place waiting for Wonwoo to pick him up.

As he sat in the front seat of, Minghao rested his forehead against the console of the car taking in a shaky breath.

“Hey, hey, Hao,” Junhui said as he fastened his seatbelt, “what’s wrong?”

“I’m just, so relieved.” Minghao sat up, tilting his head back so that Junhui couldn’t see his teary eyes, “Junnie, there was a moment where I thought that Yuto was actually going to go through with it and it felt like my heart was in my throat the entire time.”

“Oh, don’t think like that Hao,” Junhui brought up his hand to play with the hair at Minghao’s nape, “Like you were telling Yuto earlier, don’t think of the worse, think of the things that keep you going, and Yuto decided to keep going. You did well Minghao.”

“Thanks, Junnie,” the younger turned his head to look Junhui in the eyes, smiling softly at his boyfriend’s words of comfort.

Grinning, Junhui leaned forwards and planted a kiss on Minghao’s lips, his hands still holding his neck before pulling back enough to see his face but not too much that they were no longer close.

“There’s no need to thank me, Hao. You were amazing today.”

As Junhui started the car and began to pull out of the driveway, Minghao rested his head on the car window as he tried to process everything that had taken place today. It was hard to imagine so much had happened in less than twenty-four hours, but more than anything, Minghao was glad that everything turned out alright and that despite the streams of tears, everyone was okay, or at least as okay as they could be.


End file.
